Follow the River by CE Ricci (River of Rain #1)

Title: ⟫ Follow the River (River of Rain #1)

Author: ⟫ CE Ricci

Rating: ⟫ 3.5/5

Blurb: ⟫ Follow the River is a full-length, mature, new adult bully/enemies-to-lovers MM (male/male) romance with dark themes. There will be triggering content for some readers. SPECIFIC TRIGGERS WILL NOT BE LISTED at the beginning of the book as they will be spoilers, so please be advised that if you have triggers, any at all, this book might not be for you.

I've never been one to back down from a challenge.

Rather than shy away, I grit my teeth and use it as an opportunity to prove myself.

Not just in football, but also in life.

Even when I was thrown through a loop in discovering I was bisexual, I embraced it. Owning it so no one can use it as ammunition against me.

But when Ciaráin Grady comes barreling into my life with his venomous tongue and amber eyes brimming with disdain, I realize every test of my character and strength could never have prepared me for the trial he holds.

One that toes the line of love and hate.

It's all-consuming and toxic.

Yet under the layers of revulsion he masks his face with, I see it. A glimmer of lust from deep within his secretive, broken soul.

And when we're thrown together under heinous circumstances, the distinction between enemy and lover begins to blur.

So...what is Ciaráin Grady to me?

I'm only certain that he is the greatest challenge of my life.

Review: ⟫ Firstly, I think I need to say that I am one of those people who feels that the author should have listed some of the triggers, simply because the warnings given were too vague. That’s my personal opinion and I know that others will disagree and that’s cool – that’s the point of opinions, right?

Some of this book really did shock me. I expected some of it – it’s enemies to lovers and listed as dark, so I wasn’t expecting sunshine and roses. However, I really wasn’t expecting what I would describe as outright sexual assault between the two main characters. I thought that River’s excusing of Rain’s actions by saying that he didn’t say no or fight him off were a dangerous thought process to have and more than potentially triggering for people.

The relationship between the leads was difficult and verging on toxic. There was more than one occasion when I found myself thinking that they should just leave each other alone because they were so bad for each other. However, the chemistry between the two of them was obvious and there was an almost morbid fascination in seeing just what they would do to each other.

When they were at the cabin and had begun to admit that this wasn’t simply a FWB situation – or more like enemies with benefits – I thought that some of their interactions were incredibly sweet. They were both such damaged creatures, with a skewed view of each other that a straightforward conversation might have aided, although probably not fixed.

I did sometimes find myself getting confused between Rain and River as in who was saying what, and their voices were occasionally too similar for me to differentiate between them. The sex between them was scorching – almost obviously with the chemistry between them – and there was no denying that there was something powerful there.

I feel that there should also have been a warning that this ends on a cliffhanger. This didn’t affect me as such because the following book was available immediately, but I think it would have irritated me a lot if that hadn’t been the case.

The writing was solid, the ‘mystery’ intriguing, and the chemistry between our two leads was strong, but overall I’m not sure I’m pleased to have read this story, not like I felt after reading Iced Out by the same author. If you do decide to read, do so with caution – the content is darker than you might expect, with explicit descriptions of child abuse that I’m still not sure were absolutely necessary.

Saving Ziggy by Alex J. Adams

Title: ⟫ Saving Ziggy

Author: ⟫ Alex J. Adams

Blurb: ⟫ Leaving home four years ago was the best thing I could have done. Selling myself on the streets for the past two years, the worst, but what else was I to do? All I truly wanted was someone I could love and someone to love me in return. Was it really too much to ask?

Meeting him, the most handsome man ever, I thought all my prayers had been answered…..until they weren’t.

That man was almost the death of me.

I survived though, it’s what I’d always done and now I needed to try and rebuild my life.

Marc saved me, was with me every step of the way, showing me that finally, good things can happen. He thought I was damaged, and I probably was, too many emotional scars that would take time to heal.

But Marc had them as well and together, I knew we can find the love we both deserved.

Saving Ziggy is a darker MM romance about a male prostitute and the paramedic that saves him. Please heed the trigger warnings: This book features abuse, both verbal and physical and sexual assault.

Review: ⟫ The first thing I would say about this book is that you need to heed the trigger warnings – there is some pretty strong verbal, physical and sexual assault in the book and this might be difficult for some people to read.

The first half of the book I found very realistic. Ziggy is making his living as a sex worker and this isn’t romanticised in the slightest. His first interaction with Damian, his feelings of concern, were quite visceral and the caution he displayed was very realistic. The insidious manner in which Damian slithered his way into Ziggy’s life and affections was actually sort of difficult to read – it was like watching a friend ignore all of the red flags and falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole.

The (inevitable) turn in Damian’s behaviour was signposted so well for an outsider – as a reader, I almost felt like shouting at Ziggy to get out of there, to stop ignoring the signs like love bombing, etc. but it was also so clear that there was no way out. Where else did he have to go?

Stuart I found a bit one-dimensional and a bit of a caricature, and although I liked the character of Liam, it did feel a little like he was shoe-horned in there for plot/sequel purposes.

I had more issues with the second half of the book. I thought Marc sounded amazing, but the idea that his involvement with Ziggy would extend to finding him a place to stay where he did felt a little far-fetched. I did enjoy watching as Ziggy discovered there were kind people in the world and that he had friends – it was lovely to watch him being built up, finding love and acceptance. It would have been good to know more about Marc, his background – thinking about it, I can’t even picture Marc in my head apart from the tattoos and big build, which for me shows that he wasn’t fully fleshed out, although it might just be that I missed it in reading the story.

The difficulties Ziggy experienced with handling the sexual assault and trust-issues were dealt with very well and not simply brushed under the carpet. I just think that, for me, the second half lacked the realism of the first half and that affected my enjoyment. It was a bit like going from a gritty crime drama to a hallmark romance, complete with romantic misunderstanding, before the happily ever after. I think I would have preferred the second half to be longer and more in-depth, but I completely understand that that might not have been possible.

I enjoyed reading the book and the author did a very good job in pulling me into the story and caring for the characters, so I will look out for more books by them. A solid 4/5 from me and I recommend if the subject matter isn’t triggering that you give it a read.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I Am God's Dagger by K.A. Merikan

Title: ⟫ I Am God’s Dagger 

Author: ⟫ K.A. Merikan 

Blurb: ⟫ “I know what’s been done to you, and I will see you avenged.” 

Gabriel. Broken. Lonely. Scarred. Delusional? 

Abaddon. Lord of Locusts. Master of the Bottomless Pit. Angel of Destruction and Vengeance… But is he real? 

After a psychotic episode in his childhood, Gabriel is left shattered and unable to join society. Trapped in the orphanage he grew up in, he is plagued by nightmares of events that never happened, events that left him scarred, flinching at touch and achingly lonely. 

Until one day he decides on a whim to not take his meds. 

Born from a cold womb in the ground, Abaddon awakens to the world with one goal: to destroy a cult that commits blasphemous crimes in his name. What he doesn’t expect is meeting a boy who survived one of their rituals. 

That is when God reveals Abaddon’s true purpose. He shall protect the boy from the vultures circling him and avenge his pain. He shall take Gabriel under his wing and provide all the love and affection the boy never got to experience. 

As they set out to hunt the monsters together, Gabriel entrusts his body and soul to his beautiful guardian angel, yet he can’t stop questioning whether Abaddon is real or just a creation of his touch-starved mind. 

Either way, vengeance has begun to cut through the cultists with its scythe, and there is no turning back, no matter how deep the rabbit hole goes. 

* Themes: opposites attract, hurt/comfort, size difference, angst, childhood trauma and abuse, mental health, self-harm, deception, mindf*ck, occult, gaslighting, revenge, torture, blasphemy, orphanage, cults 

Genre: Dark, thriller M/M romance Length: ~ 86,000 words (Standalone) 

WARNING: This book contains adult content that might be considered offensive. Strong language, violence, torture, and explicit scenes. Reader discretion advised. Not for the fainthearted. Virtuous Sinners is a collection of gay romance stories that center on killers who are guided by a virtuous code. These dark novels are connected only by theme and can be read standalone. 

The killer's virtue in “I Am God’s Dagger”: Piety 

Review: ⟫ I don’t even know how to review this book because I am so confused by it. I can see what it was trying to be but amidst all of the scattered details of the actions of the members of the cult, Gabriel and his inner monologue and Abaddon, I felt that it got so so lost. 

As did I. 

And there’s only so much suspension of disbelief can achieve, especially in what was a modern, non supernatural setting. 

I was certainly thrown by Gabriel’s actions with regard to Abaddon. This ‘angel’ appears from nowhere, begins a murder spree and Gabriel not only falls in love wit him but seems to suffer very little in the way of mental trauma handling the new relationship. 

It didn’t sit well with me – especially with the flashbacks to what he had been through – and perhaps that it what threw me out of the story over and over again. 

I also have no idea how Abaddon managed to get around the orphanage without being seen by anyone – the place is full of kids, as well as staff, and no one saw him even once as he walked around. 

I will admit, I got the plot twist completely wrong, so that was a nice bit of misdirection, but I’m not sure I care too much about that. I just found this whole thing too confusing for words and can only assume based on other reviews that it is down to me. 

Perhaps I need to accept that K.A. Merikan just isn’t for me. 

I received an ARC from GRR.

The Kidnapping of Roan Sinclair by Ashlyn Drewek (The Solnyshko Duet)

Title: ⟫ The Kidnapping of Roan Sinclair: A Dark MM Russian Romance 

Author: ⟫ Ashlyn Drewek 

Blurb: ⟫ Roan Sinclair’s life is perfect, just ask anyone. Set to graduate college and bound for grad school at Georgetown, Roan’s life has been all planned out for him. 

Except, he doesn’t want it. 

Dedicated to his music, he dreams of a life free from his parents’ expectations. Those dreams are gone the minute he’s kidnapped by a group of Russians, led by the tall, dark, and broody Sasha — a man ripped straight from Roan’s fantasies. 

Determined to make it out alive, Roan will do whatever is necessary to secure his freedom, even if that means seducing his captor. 

Aleksandr Vassiliev doesn’t care about anything except surviving in a merciless world. Known as the Wolf of Verkhoyansk, Sasha’s reputation for brutality is far-reaching and well-deserved. When a bank robbery goes wrong, he’ll do whatever he can to fix it — including kidnapping the bank owner’s son. 

Instead of complying like he should, Roan defies Sasha at every turn. Worst of all, he makes Sasha want things he can’t have, things that are a death sentence for men like him. 

Things like Roan Sinclair. 

Content warning: This book contains references to alcohol/drug use, sexual assault, graphic violence, self-harm, ethnic and homosexual slurs, and a lot of profanity. Reader discretion is advised. 

Review: ⟫ This was a recommendation on sub-reddit and I am so pleased I went ahead and got it. 

Roan was a sweetheart – a complete ray of sunshine in the darkness of his world. His family life is awful and he’s on the verge of being pushed in a direction that he has no interest in going. That is when Sasha enters his life and absolutely everything changes. 

Sasha was – brutal. He wasn’t just grumpy, he was rude, violent and the epitome of a Russian mobster. This book held nothing back in terms of the type of person Sasha was, who he had had to become in order to survive. There were hints given as to the type of life Sasha had lived, the things he had been through, and they sounded traumatic and awful. 

The clash between sunshine and the Wolf was epic – entertaining, upsetting, sexy and life altering. Watching the dynamics between these two as they tried to figure out a way through what life was throwing at them and how the circumstances under which they met influenced everything was enthralling. 

I would most definitely heed the warnings given but for me, this book was worth all of that for the feelings it evoked. I went immediately to book two because I needed to know what happened next. Thank goodness for Kindle Unlimited.