I Am God's Dagger by K.A. Merikan

Title: ⟫ I Am God’s Dagger 

Author: ⟫ K.A. Merikan 

Blurb: ⟫ “I know what’s been done to you, and I will see you avenged.” 

Gabriel. Broken. Lonely. Scarred. Delusional? 

Abaddon. Lord of Locusts. Master of the Bottomless Pit. Angel of Destruction and Vengeance… But is he real? 

After a psychotic episode in his childhood, Gabriel is left shattered and unable to join society. Trapped in the orphanage he grew up in, he is plagued by nightmares of events that never happened, events that left him scarred, flinching at touch and achingly lonely. 

Until one day he decides on a whim to not take his meds. 

Born from a cold womb in the ground, Abaddon awakens to the world with one goal: to destroy a cult that commits blasphemous crimes in his name. What he doesn’t expect is meeting a boy who survived one of their rituals. 

That is when God reveals Abaddon’s true purpose. He shall protect the boy from the vultures circling him and avenge his pain. He shall take Gabriel under his wing and provide all the love and affection the boy never got to experience. 

As they set out to hunt the monsters together, Gabriel entrusts his body and soul to his beautiful guardian angel, yet he can’t stop questioning whether Abaddon is real or just a creation of his touch-starved mind. 

Either way, vengeance has begun to cut through the cultists with its scythe, and there is no turning back, no matter how deep the rabbit hole goes. 

* Themes: opposites attract, hurt/comfort, size difference, angst, childhood trauma and abuse, mental health, self-harm, deception, mindf*ck, occult, gaslighting, revenge, torture, blasphemy, orphanage, cults 

Genre: Dark, thriller M/M romance Length: ~ 86,000 words (Standalone) 

WARNING: This book contains adult content that might be considered offensive. Strong language, violence, torture, and explicit scenes. Reader discretion advised. Not for the fainthearted. Virtuous Sinners is a collection of gay romance stories that center on killers who are guided by a virtuous code. These dark novels are connected only by theme and can be read standalone. 

The killer's virtue in “I Am God’s Dagger”: Piety 

Review: ⟫ I don’t even know how to review this book because I am so confused by it. I can see what it was trying to be but amidst all of the scattered details of the actions of the members of the cult, Gabriel and his inner monologue and Abaddon, I felt that it got so so lost. 

As did I. 

And there’s only so much suspension of disbelief can achieve, especially in what was a modern, non supernatural setting. 

I was certainly thrown by Gabriel’s actions with regard to Abaddon. This ‘angel’ appears from nowhere, begins a murder spree and Gabriel not only falls in love wit him but seems to suffer very little in the way of mental trauma handling the new relationship. 

It didn’t sit well with me – especially with the flashbacks to what he had been through – and perhaps that it what threw me out of the story over and over again. 

I also have no idea how Abaddon managed to get around the orphanage without being seen by anyone – the place is full of kids, as well as staff, and no one saw him even once as he walked around. 

I will admit, I got the plot twist completely wrong, so that was a nice bit of misdirection, but I’m not sure I care too much about that. I just found this whole thing too confusing for words and can only assume based on other reviews that it is down to me. 

Perhaps I need to accept that K.A. Merikan just isn’t for me. 

I received an ARC from GRR.

His Favorite Color is Blood by K.A. Merikan

Title: ⟫ His Favorite Color is Blood 

Author: ⟫ K.A.Merikan 

Blurb: ⟫ Grim. Assassin. Leather-clad sex god. Has the most unusual taste in men. 

Misha. Mutilated. Afraid. Will never trust again. 

 Grim is a bloodthirsty killer, and he owns it. Gay in a world of outlaw bikers, he firmly stands his ground if anyone dares to cross him. He takes pleasure in showing homophobes their place and fucking his way through a life of carnage. 

 But there is a part of him always aching for something he cannot get. 

When by chance he saves the most perfect guy he’s ever met, he is not about to let him go. Even if it means he needs to smother his broken bird. 

When a masked, bloodstained man rescues Misha from captivity, he doesn’t know if he should thank the menacing stranger or stab him and run. Grim is not the kind of man who takes no for an answer, and Misha might now be in more danger than when he was trapped as a sex slave. 

Misha cannot deny though that Grim is as alluring as he is frightening, and once Misha realizes what power his body holds over Grim, he understands that taming the beast of a man could be within his reach. But any possibility of a future together is like a house of cards when Zero, the sadistic crime lord who destroyed Misha’s life, sets out to get him back. 

Will the ruthless biker assassin at Misha’s side be enough to conquer the monsters from his past? 

Review ⟫ 

This has got to be the absolute darkest thing I have ever read - what was done to Misha was horrific and real nightmare material. Grim - I've never heard of anyone with the fetish he had and that obviously affected my view of him. As a couple, these two are terrifyingly compatible, and as the story continues it's possible to recognise that what they have may not be conventional - AT ALL - but it's most definitely real. I learned so much reading this - some of it I didn't want to know - and the two MCs were clear voices in my head. If you heed the warnings about the darkness this story holds, it's well worth a read. I'm off to find some unrelenting fluff to read!